The following is copyrighted material by Steve Mensing.

HANDLING STUCKNESS WITH ACCEPTANCE

When a belief, feeling, or physical sensation exibits staying power or stuckness this is usually due to a lack of acceptance. Likely we are trapped in a strong judgement about our belief, feeling, or physical sensation. We may hate it or fear it. This judgment puts us out of contact with our belief, feeling, or physical sensation. And with little or no contact with our challenge we can't fully experience it or naturally process it.

The most powerful antedote to stuckness is our natural ability to accept.

What is acceptance? Acceptance, our viewing reality as clearly as possible, helps us live fully and see our world without judgement or absolute or extreme evaluation. Not meaning we are pleased with our situation or resigned to it, acceptance is viewing ourselves, events, feelings, thoughts, impulses, others, and the world with uncritical eyes, observing without demanding ourselves or the world be anything other than what we are or it is. The filters and labels are pulled away in acceptance.

How do we accept things? One way is by altering the way we perceive and think about ourselves, others, and the world. If our perceptions and thoughts are clouded by absolutistic and judgmental attitudes, our view of ourselves, others, and the world will be distorted.

Acknowledging reality as it "stands" is important to our happiness and survival. When we accept reality, we cope with it better. Our beliefs, feelings, and physical sensations process easier--they are no longer stuck. Acceptance leads to less enduring and intense negative emotions. Acceptance creates a clearer and more focused mind leading to constructive and positive actions. We see what is--we know what better be done. And we act in our long-term best interests and feel better.

Besides stuckness, what are some of the hints that we are not accepting reality? Rage, panic, depression, anger, anxiety, hostility, guilt, impatience, judgementalness, shame, and an array of self-defeating behaviors.

TIPS ON ACCEPTANCE

*Accept your negative feelings. Whatever you are feeling, you really should be feeling because those feelings are flavored by your filters. Filters can be adjusted.

*Denying, ignoring, and rationalizing away reality blocks acceptance. Sometimes we don't want to accept reality because we believe it's too painful. People can accept emotional pain by accepting and experiencing their feelings.

*Acceptance does not rule out committing yourself to changing your circumstances if you can.

*Clarity and acceptance are directly related. You increase one and the other increases.

*Do you ask: "Why me or why did it occur?" Why is often another way of saying: "It should not." Better ask: "Why not?"

*How did you accept painful reality in the past? Did the acceptance come in stages? Did you deny reality at first by not believing it? Did you blame someone or something for reality happening? Sometimes denial, disbelief, anger, and depression occur in stages before acceptance is reached. Grieving sometimes happens this way. Some or all of the mentioned stages may not be present in the grieving process due to our varying persepectives and beliefs about reality.

*Blow your misfortunes out of proportion and employ humor. If you lost your wallet--tell yourself you lost your entire life savings, right to social security and medicare, and your identity. Laughing at your situation shows you've likely accepted it.

*Having taboo subjects demonstrates you don't want to hear about or view certain segments of reality. Glossing over, fibbing, or not admitting your mistakes are other active methods of nonacceptance.

*Often the expression: "I don't believe it!" Nonacceptance.

*Blaming and fault finding equal nonacceptance.

*Beware of ironclad rules and demandingness. These are cues that you're on the path to nonacceptance.

*If you can't change a situation--ask yourself how you can accept it. What beliefs hold you back?

*Own your own behavior--you are responsibile for it unless someone physically forced you or your judgment was impaired by brain injury.

*Uncertainty and the unknown are parts of life. To demand certainty is to avoid reality.

*Increase your tolerance for frustration and discomfort. Show you can stand things you better stand.

*Awful, horrible, and terrible strongly hint we are not clearly experiencing reality or accepting it.

*Imagine how you might accept a deadly disease, a handicap, pain & death, losing your life savings, deaths of close friends or spouse, being fired, or your home burns down. ________________________________

Here are two brief processes useful for overcoming stuckness and nonacceptance. The first process Accept This combines left nasal dominance breathing (India), a central meridian trace (kineasiology), and a heart region hold with several perceptual shifters to assist us in accepting a stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation. The Love That process allows us to love our stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation. This process utilizes circular breathing (kriya Yoga), cranial and head tapping (kinesiology), a heart region hold, imagery with tv sets (NLP), and several perceptual shifters.

ACCEPT THIS

Here are the steps to the Accept This process:

(1)LEFT NASAL DOMINANCE BREATHING. Simply pinch your right nostril shut and breathe fully in and out through your left nostril only. Do this breathing during the entire exercise.

(2)CENTRAL MERIDIAN TRACE. Take your palm and gently trace the center line of your body starting at the top center of your head and follow the invisible center line down from your head to your groin. Do this tracing downward for three repititions. Go to the next step.

(3)HEART REGION HOLD. Place your right palm over the region of your heartbest and keep it there for the remainder of the exercise.

(4)What stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation would you like to accept? Can you now allow yourself to fully experience it or feel it without trying to get rid of it or keep it. Just allow it to be there.

(5)What is the oppositie of your belief, feeling, or physical sensation? Can you allow yourself to experience the opposite of your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation? After you experience the opposite of your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation can you shift your attention back to the stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation. Now shift back and forth between these polarities three more times. What do you experience now about your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation? Can you allow it to be there for a few moments before you go to the next step?

(6) What valuable service or helpful things does your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation do for you? Give yourself plenty of time to answer and jot down your responses. When you are ready fully experience the valuable service or helpful things your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation does for you. Really experience it.

(7) GRATITUDE. In whatever way you deem appropriate let your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation know how much you appreciate its services and helpfulness. Give your gratitude with heartfelt conviction and say it aloud.

(8) Ten years from now when you look back at this formerly stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation, how will you feel about having accepted it? After you've accepted this belief, feeling, or physical sensation, how will you view it? What parts of the stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation changed first? Fully experience it, then jot it down.

(9) Stuck beliefs, feelings, and physical sensations have been likened to stories that possess beginnings, middles, and ends. Knowing you've already created a beginning and middle parts, can you now create a desirable end of the story of how you accepted your stuck belief, feelings, or physical sensations? Fully experience the ending and allow it to be there with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it.

(10) If someone else experienced your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation, how might they accept it? What makes it easier for them to accept your belief, feeling, or physical sensation? Jot this down.

(11) Imagine your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation with a polka dot frame around it. What do you experience? Imagine your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation with a smiley face frame around it? What do you experience? Imagine your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation with a frame label accepted around it. What do you experience?

(12) If your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation requires forgiveness in order to move it to acceptance, then begin gently to tap 12 times on the center of the webbing between your thumb and the next finger. Say aloud and with conviction: "I forgive myself, others, events, and the universe for this stuckness happening."

(13) Allow yourself to fully experience your belief, feeling, or physical sensation with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it. Just accept it and allow it to be there.

If you did not arrive at full acceptance yet, then repeat the process until you accept what was stuck. ________________________________

LOVE THAT

Here are the steps to the Love That process:

(1) DO CIRCULAR BREATHING. Do circular breathing during the entire duration of the Love That process. This form of breathing connects the inhale with the exhale at a moderate speed and in a comfortable fashion. The inhale is full and deep while the exhale is relaxed with no control at all. If the inhale comes via the nose then the exhale should exit the nose. If the inhale comes via the mouth, then the exhale must go out the mouth. No switching. Don't stop at the top of the breath or at the bottom (maybe a split second stop). Breathing is one continuous loop. In/out. In/out.

(2) HEART HOLD. During the duration of this exercise place your palm gently over the area of your heartbeat.

(3) Can you fully experience your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation? Can you allow it to be there with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it?

(4)HEAD TAP/THYMUS TAP. Take one hand and spread out all your fingers. Center your hand so it's just above the center of the top of your head. Gently tap the top of your head so your palm and fingers encompass both hemispheres of your head. Tap 12 times while you experience your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation. Remember to keep one hand on your heqart region during tapping. Immediately after finishing the head tapping, take the same palm and tap very slowly on a point an inch above the thymus. Use your whole palm. Tap gently for 20 times while you continue to experience whatever was stuck.

(5) Could you intensify your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation? Could you then move it over to your heart region and fully experience it there?

(6) Can you make a joke about your belief, feeling, or physical sensation? What part of it begins to feel funny or absurd at first? Jot it down.

(7) With your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation still immersed in your heart region, can you begin to notice all the good things it may have done for you over the years. Ask your heart.

(8) Think of something you once hated, but now love. How did you do this? Ask your unconscious. Could you apply those learnings to this stuckness? If so, how?

(9)Turn any judgements you have about your stuck belief, feelings, or physical sensations into labels. Now allow those labels to vanish. Jot those labels down.

(10) Imagine a large split tv screen. On the right side of the screen allow yourself to imagine something your really very much love or enjoy. Imagine it intensely. On the left side of the screen imagine whatever is stuck and unnacepted for you. Experience it intensely. Now merge both screen images into one and fully experience them. Tap slowly and gently tap 20 times on your thymus. What are you experiencing now? What do you see?

(11) Experience loving your stuck belief, feeling, or physical sensation. Love it fully and allow it to be there with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it. Repeat the exercise until you love what was stuck.