Subject: ucp0.memo
From: Clearing Archive Roboposter <[email-masked]>
Date: 16 Aug 2000 18:13:12 -0400
Newsgroups: alt.clearing.technology

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Dear Konchok,

A lot has happened since I last wrote to you, and I¹d like to bring you
up to date on our UCP co-audit.

By the end of August, Scorpio and I had co-audited about 100 and 85
hours of UCP respectively. I had been moving between Regret and Pity
for about six weeks and was getting crabbier and crabbier, feeling like
I was going nowhere with the same stuff coming up again and again. So,
when Scorpio urged me to do another session the evening of September
7th, I really snarled and protested. After a few minutes of carrying
on, I found that I¹d ranted myself into a Dianetic incident that I¹d
never touched upon in  my church auditing. As I went through it, I
realized that this incident related in dozens of ways to my behavior,
attitudes, the way my life had unfolded so far, etc. Then the incident
began to lift, and everything was suddenly different.

It took about four hours for me to realize and acknowledge what had
happened: I¹d come up through Death. At first, it was very disorienting
and a little scary. I felt like I¹d been turned upside down somehow. 
But the amazing thing is that my space was now clean--empty--no
background chatter, images, thoughts. All that mental noise I¹d fought
with, ignored,and suppressed for so long was gone. I could also see how
my attention and awareness had been fixed and fragmented into the
collection of valences and beingnesses I¹d adopted in those reflective
ranges below Death. I¹d been living my life in an anesthetized state. 
This was, and still is, the most profound change in perception I¹ve
experienced.

I¹m not claiming to have no case. After I popped up through the Zero
range, I spent about a week in a calm, blissful state where nothing was
coming up to co-audit. I felt I had finally and unexpectedly gone
clear, this time for real, and was beginning to hope that I was home
free, when I crash-landed in ŒVictim¹ and began to discover why most of
us have chosen to keep our theta heads well below Death and to cover
ourselves with heavy wavelengths as a buffer against reality.

There is no place to run or hide above Death. By this I mean that now I
can¹t automatically go into a valence or distract myself with mental
fantasies and constructs to avoid confronting myself as I am. On the
night I broke through, Scorpio told me that he¹d come above Death a few
nights earlier and had tried to indicate it to me, but I couldn¹t
perceive what he was talking about. He then decided to wait and see if
it was a stable state, not just a temporary blow-out, before ³banging
the gong.² 

These last three weeks have been tough, but they¹ve been terribly
exciting too. Our cases are right in our faces (nice line for a country
tune, huh?), but UCP leads us through this stuff and safely out the
other side. And I must say that the Sedona Method we¹ve used all along
is invaluable in helping us release the heavy somatics that the process
often dredges up. The impact of seeing case without filters can be
demoralizing and startling, but there¹s true joy in finding out that
I¹m strong enough to deal with it straight, no chaser. Scorpio and I
both came out of Grief this last week, and, Konchok, I swear that
coming up through the levels from Zero to Grief has been one of the
yuckiest slogs I¹ve ever made; what a relief to be out of it!

All this is not intended to paint a grim picture. Far from it. Scorpio
and I have been having a wonderful, if very intense, time and look
forward to getting above 2.0 and beyond (?!). Plus, we¹ve had several
unexpected material gains come our way in the last few weeks.  

I still consider that I¹ve ³gone clear², because that is as close as
words can come to describing what¹s occurred in my ³mind² or
³consciousness². This is all so ironic, because, although your
technical materials did revitalize an interest in going up the tone
scale, clear was an attainment I¹d given up on a long time ago. All I
can say is that if this had happened to me in the church, I would have
attested without a qualm!

Thank you again so much for your perseverance in making your discovery
known.

Yours,

Mudrunner

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